It’s no secret that we women can be hormonal, and let’s face it, just down right crazy during pregnancy. It might be a secret knowing the right loving words for your pregnant wife to keep things mellow for these 40 weeks.
Listen, you don’t want to argue with your wife while she’s pregnant, you’re not going to win.
And it’s not just these nine months of pregnancy. Sorry, but it’s best you know. Once the baby comes, she’s still going to be hormonal and exhausted from lack of sleep on top of it.
We know you want nothing more than to make us happy — happy wife, happy life right? And sometimes things, the wrong things, just blurt out of your mouth.
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Look I’m not blaming you. Men and women are just different. We think different. We react different. We have different priorities. We could go in depth on the subject but for right now, let’s just help you survive pregnancy.
If you read no further, at least be ready with one of these phrases and you won’t go wrong:
- Yes, I’ll do it.
- I’m sorry.
- You are so beautiful.
Let’s walk through a few scenarios where loving words for your pregnant wife will make all the difference.
1. In the beginning there were the cravings.
Yup, they start early on in pregnancy. So when your pregnant wife rolls over in bed at 3 a.m. saying, “I’m hungry for pickles and ice cream — or hot wings or pizza with tomatoes —.” What do you say?
“Yes, I’ll do it. I’ll go get it right now.”
She’s going to take the “now” as literal, so you best go right that moment. If you need to research where to get whatever it is at 3 a.m., use the phone in your car to find it, but get out of the house so she knows you are on the task.
2. As the baby belly starts protruding, your wife enters the “I just look fat” stage.
Trust me, it’s an awkward place. We know we’re pregnant but we don’t quite look pregnant yet, we just look like we’ve gained a few pounds.
This is the point in the pregnancy when my oldest son told me I was fat when I was pregnant with our third. Young boys don’t mince words. And his teacher asked if I was pregnant, then after I answered said, “Oh good, because you’re usually one of the fit moms.” Yup, a little pooch and apparently I looked fat.
Men, never say what young boys might. Instead say, “Knowing you are carrying our baby just makes you even more beautiful.”
Get bonus points by telling her she’s beautiful every day especially before she mentions feeling fat or looking fat. It’s probably the last thing she’s feeling especially as she nears the end of the pregnancy.
3. At some point in the pregnancy, usually in the first and last trimesters, your wife will be tired.
During the first trimester, she’s likely to feel sick at least some of the time too. This is a good time to start picking up the slack. Remember there will be more slack after the baby comes too so it’s a good idea to just keep it going.
So when your wife appears to be crashed on the couch, do you ask her “what’s for dinner?”
No. No, you don’t. You say, “Your body is doing so much work, what I can provide for you for dinner?”
Knowing she has you to lean on will mean a lot. So whenever you can, ask “how can I help?” or “What can I provide for you?” or better yet, “I know (name a task) needs to get done, let me do that for you.”
And after you complete that task, sit down and rub her feet with peppermint lotion.
I know you might be thinking this is a lot of work for you. But remember she’s creating a life inside her. That’s a big deal. And if it seems like not that big of a deal (especially when she seems to be the Energizer bunny again during the second trimester), think about what she has to go through during birth. Then get on your knees and clean the kitchen floor because that’s way easier!
4. If, let’s just say when… When she’s upset with you and you swear you didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s doesn’t matter. Here’s what you do. Are you ready?
Say, “I’m sorry, I hurt you.” Then stop. Don’t say anything else. Don’t say “I’m sorry your feelings got hurt” or “I’m sorry but I…”. Whatever it is doesn’t matter. It. Does. Not. Matter.
Just say, “I’m sorry, I hurt you.” And let her cry or fume or curse at you and when she’s done and she’s ready, be ready to hold her.
When you are both sane again, you might be able to talk it out. Might. But she’s pregnant so when she’s sane again might be awhile. It’s probably best to just let it go.
5. Ready for the cherry on top?
There is no scenario for this one. Just say it whenever you can and as often as you can.
“I love you. There is no one else for me but you. You are amazing.”
And mean it. She’ll know if you don’t. Her BS detector is running overtime. Remember what she is doing IS amazing.
Read here for more tips for a new dad-to-be.
By Amie Durocher, Creative Director at Safe Ride 4 Kids and certified CPS Tech since 2004
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